All too familiar with all the things he had done or not done in his life, novelist Keiichiro Hirano had trouble accepting himself as a “good” or a “bad” person, until he realized that maybe he was a bit more complicated than that.

Above, moments from his beautiful TEDxKyoto talk, “Love others to love yourself.” (In Japanese with English subtitles)

Watch the whole talk here»

It’s not enough that you have this sort of decent relationship with this person. He also has to be your best friend. He also has to be your only romantic partner. He also has to be somebody who inspires you every day. He has to be somebody who is going to help your career. He has to be somebody who co-parents with you. He has to meet you on 25 different levels of intersection.
Elizabeth Gilbert on marriage, quoted in Eli Finkel’s TEDxUChicago talk, "The hack to save your marriage."

"Relative to any time in the past," Eli says in his talk, "we are depending on the marital bond more and more for these emotional, physical, career-related needs … and what that means is that the quality of your marriage is more important today than ever before … that keeping a high-quality marriage when we are putting so much stock in this one relationship is crucial." Watch his whole talk here. 

In the free market of individual desire, I negotiate my value every day.Hence, the contemporary man’s anguish. His obsession. "Am I desirable? How much? How many people are going to love me?"How does he respond to this anguish? Well, by hysterically accumulating symbols of desirability [fancy cars, clothes, jewelry]. I call this accumulation, along with others, the seduction capital.It is said — about consumption — that our age is materialistic. But it’s not true. 
We accumulate objects in order to communicate with other minds. We do it to make them love us. To seduce them. Nothing is less materialistic or more sentimental than a teenager buying brand new jeans and tearing them at the knees because he wants to impress Jennifer.Consumerism is not materialism. It is rather — engulfed matter sacrificed in the name of the love god, or — rather — in the name of the seduction capital.

— TEDxParis speaker Yann Dall’Aglio on the free market of love. Watch his entire talk here.
Photo by Flickr user @Doug88888.

In the free market of individual desire, I negotiate my value every day.

Hence, the contemporary man’s anguish. His obsession. "Am I desirable? How much? How many people are going to love me?"

How does he respond to this anguish? Well, by hysterically accumulating symbols of desirability [fancy cars, clothes, jewelry]. I call this accumulation, along with others, the seduction capital.

It is said — about consumption — that our age is materialistic. But it’s not true.

We accumulate objects in order to communicate with other minds. We do it to make them love us. To seduce them.

Nothing is less materialistic or more sentimental than a teenager buying brand new jeans and tearing them at the knees because he wants to impress Jennifer.

Consumerism is not materialism. It is rather — engulfed matter sacrificed in the name of the love god, or — rather — in the name of the seduction capital.


TEDxParis speaker Yann Dall’Aglio on the free market of love. Watch his entire talk here.

Photo by Flickr user @Doug88888.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 6 TEDx Talks on modern love (and sex)

Valentine’s Day is here and we’re all about love on the TEDx blog this week. If you aren’t yet fulfilled by Jocob Berkson’s exploration into the philosophy of love, Helen Fisher’s studies into the biological underpinning of “the one”, or David Page’s genetic revelation into the health implications of gender differences, these 6 should quell your desire:

TEDxMidAtlantic 2012 - Amy Webb

How I gamed online data to meet my match: Amy Webb

Amy Webb shirks her relatives dating advice, quantifies her desires, and manipulates the online-dating experience to successfully find love.

Make your bed is the ultimate treehouse: Debby Herbenick

Psychologist Debby Herbenick shares the results of some of her studies investigating the value of focused, exclusive and, of course, fun sex.

The sex lives of sea slugs: Muljadi Pinneng

With beautiful underwater photography, Muljadi Pinneng explores the coral reefs of Indonesia to show you some of the strangest sexual practices in the wild world.

When it comes to love, nature doesn’t matter: Ronald de Sousa

In a profound and impeccably reasoned talk, Ronald de Sousa challenges the notion that there’s such a thing as “natural” love.

Beyond the orgasm: Nicole Daedone

Nicole Daedone prescribes mindful sex — a possible cure for relationships that have lost their spark.

Find your erotic creatureSheila Kelly

Television actress and pole dancer Sheila Kelly describes how she found her “erotic creature” within and encourages everyone to do the same.